Worth Mining
by bholley
Summary: Anna is trying to come to terms with the idea that she once knew about her sister's magic. Elsa braves her darkest memories to provide Anna with the joy they once shared. A month after they are reunited, they discover a way to restore Anna's memories. As part of the process, Elsa must re-live these memories in traumatizing fashion. (Post-canon, sisterly fluff, etc)
1. Chapter 1 : Remember You

**AN: This started out as part of "A Musical Collection" but it quickly got out of hand and turned into its own story. It takes place about a month after the thaw. Anna is trying to come to terms with the idea that she once knew about her sister's magic. Elsa tries to help.**

 **(Complete. Total of 4 chapters to be posted over the next week in celebration of Frozen month and the end of summer term! Also, I should probably study instead of write fanfictions. Oh well. You guys seem to enjoy this stuff and I do too. Hope you like this one! Same theme as always - sisterly love that can be construed as incest if you insist.)**

* * *

Anna stood still, staring up at the old family portrait. It was the last one containing the late king and queen with both of their daughters. _We were so little_ , Anna reminisced. She had barely turned four and was hard-pressed to hold still, though the painter had constructed her likeness despite her constant movement. Seven-year-old Elsa was already impeccably mannered and stared out of the portrait shyly. The artist had captured her sister's face the way it once was – without a trace of pain, guilt, or fear. Anna stared up at the image and sighed. _What was it like, Elsa? What was it really like?_ _What were_ you _like?_

She was disturbed from her musing by the feeling that someone was watching her. She turned her head to find Elsa standing in the doorway, looking as if she'd stepped in but stopped short in surprise, staring at her in concern. _I guess I'm not known for being quiet and pensive,_ Anna remarked to herself.

"Anna?" Elsa's voice was soft and hesitant. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, of course!" Anna exclaimed, trying to wave off her abnormal behavior. Elsa became visibly worried and Anna caved if only to keep the growing fear off of her sister's face. "I was just… wondering."

"About what?" Elsa asked, moving closer.

"About what it was like," Anna blurted out in frustration. "I can't remember, Elsa. I can't even remember how much I _don't_ remember! All I know is what you've told me - that there was an accident with your magic and the trolls had to remove my memories of everything you could do. I want to know how it was, playing with your magic back then. Back when we were together and you weren't so _afraid_ of yourself!" Elsa turned her head sharply down and Anna stopped speaking. She could see her sister's frown and her frustration evaporated.

"I'm so sorry, Anna." The guilty whisper galvanized Anna into action. She quickly but carefully approached Elsa and wrapped her arms around her sister.

"It's okay," she insisted, heart sinking at the way Elsa tensed up.

"It's really not," Elsa argued. "It was unfair of them to take your memories away like that. They belonged to you." Anna paused, then nodded in agreement.

"Maybe so, but it's _not_ your fault, Elsa. It really isn't. You were just a little kid, too!"

"I should have stood up for you," Elsa muttered. "I should have fought for us."

"You _did_ , Elsa. Every day you were locked away. I _know_ you tried to fix this. I know you tried to be safe for me. You just didn't realize that you already were. You always were. Oh, Elsa… please don't cry. I…" Anna trailed off helplessly as Elsa tried to stifle her sobs and turned so Anna couldn't see her tears. Anna buried her face in Elsa's back and held tighter to the slim queen as she wept.

"I forgive you completely, Elsa, for all of those lost years. You know that. But I still wish I could remember. I wish I could remember you better."

"Why?" The soft response came shakily.

"Because I love you! My memories are incomplete and I'm missing part of _you_. And now that I know there's something missing, I can't stand not knowing. I want to know and remember _every part_ of you, Elsa." Anna rested her chin on Elsa's shoulder and kept holding her close from behind. "Magic included." There was silence as Elsa tried to control her tears and Anna pressed her face against Elsa's neck in an attempt to soothe her.

"You deserve it," Elsa said finally. "You deserve to have your memories back. We'll go to the trolls at once. Perhaps they can restore what was taken from you."

"Wait, really?" Anna asked, shocked by the possibility. She let her arms fall away and Elsa turned to face her again.

"All we can do is try," Elsa shrugged. "This is really bothering you, isn't it." Anna looked down and nodded shamefully.

"I feel like I'm missing out on _you,_ still," Anna whispered, but smiled when Elsa moved close to lift her chin.

"Then we'll try to fix it. Okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

"I've spoken to everyone who needs to know about our mission," Elsa informed Anna later that morning. "Kai will keep watch over the castle, and the council is on standby for anything important. I doubt we will be away for long, but I told them to prepare for us to be gone until tomorrow at least."

"We'll spend the night with the trolls?"

"If we have to. If we don't, I'll make us an ice house to stay in temporarily and we'll have a little vacation in the mountains, just us. What do you say?" Anna squealed in excitement and bounded outside. They mounted their horses and rode out into the countryside. Anna could tell Elsa was already deep in thought. She rode with a frown and the air around her was growing chilly.

"Elsa?" Anna called as she maneuvered to ride beside her. The queen looked over, brought out of her reverie.

"Yes, Anna?"

"Are you all right?" concern lingered in Anna's voice as she looked searchingly at her older sister. Elsa sighed.

"Yes, it's just that the last time I visited the trolls… well, it's not a pleasant memory."

"Oh," Anna replied simply. She didn't know what to say, so she rode in silence beside Elsa as she brooded.

* * *

They were not rushing by any means, but the journey seemed to go quickly. They tied up their horses near the troll clearing and walked together down the forest path. Anna took Elsa's hand as they moved and the queen smiled a little for a moment. Eventually they entered the rock-filled area.

"Hello?" Elsa called, sounding more like a frightened child than a powerful queen. Anna wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned into her side to comfort her.

"Grandpabbie?" Anna called. Soon enough, the rocks around them began to move. Elsa nearly jumped out of her skin, but Anna was there to hold onto her and keep her from panicking. Before the trolls could begin chattering, Anna spoke up.

"Please, we need to see Grandpabbie. It's important!" A low murmuring answered her, but her expression and Elsa's obvious unease prevented them from starting a song. Before too long the troll patriarch appeared. He dismissed the gathering with the wave of his hand, and the sisters knelt to speak with him.

"Queen Elsa, Princess Anna," he greeted them solemnly. Elsa was staring at him in open fright, obviously at war with her memories.

"Do not be afraid," he murmured to the shaken queen. "I will not take her away from you again. I promise." And Elsa relaxed slightly, though Anna looked at them both in slight confusion. Elsa nodded in understanding and let Anna hold her to her side as they sat on the ground.

"What have you come to find?" the ancient being asked, looking at both sisters.

"Can you restore the memories you took from Anna all those years ago?" Elsa asked quietly. A great sadness seemed to come over the elderly troll as he looked at the young women.

"I cannot, Your Majesty. The magical pieces of those memories were destroyed along with the ice that was in her head. They cannot be recovered." Before Elsa could even begin to fall into despair, he spoke again.

"There is… another way. It will not be easy or pleasant, but it can be done."

"How?" Anna asked eagerly, moving forward. Elsa restrained her gently with one arm.

"Whatever it is, no harm may come to Anna. Am I understood?" Elsa's words were guarded and firm. Grandpabbie nodded with a smile.

"She will be fine," he reassured her. "The burden of this procedure will fall on you."

"Me? How?" Elsa asked as Anna looked between the two in increasing concern.

"I will copy your memories for her. She will remember the complete version of these things, but it will be from outside of herself - through your eyes. She will see what you saw, and feel what you felt. This will require you to be extremely vulnerable and completely open as I retrieve your memories. If your magic pushes me back, I cannot perform the process. I will put you to sleep to collect your memories. After I extract them, I will copy them. Then I will put Anna to sleep and introduce them to her first. Once they are settled and she has recovered, I will return them to you. The hardest part is that you will also be made to re-live these experiences as I put them back into your mind. That means… when you wake up it will seem to you as though you had just lost her. The confusion will pass as your mind rights itself, but it will be a very difficult experience for you."

"Elsa…" Anna gasped. Though the queen had stiffened and her body was chilled with fear, she spoke firmly.

"That is no matter. We will proceed."

"Elsa, are you sure? I mean, that sounds awful for you. I don't want…"

"You _deserve_ this, Anna. I want your memories to be whole. They may not be exactly what they were, but at least you will have something real. I owe you that much at least." She turned to Grandpabbie and nodded. "You may do as you have said."

"But Elsa…"

"Anna, I want this. Please do not argue with me." Her stern tone made the girl's eyes go wide and she stopped talking abruptly.

"If you will, sir," Elsa addressed Grandpabbie.

"Very well. Both of you, please follow me." They trailed behind the stumpy creature up the hillside to the opening of a shallow cave. Inside stood a large bed made of moss and grass laden with pillows and blankets. Grandpabbie gestured for the two women to lie down, which they did side by side.

"Are you ready?" he asked Elsa. She turned to look at Anna for reassurance, and the girl was quick to take Elsa's hand and squeeze it gently. Encouraged, Elsa nodded and lay still. The troll waddled to the bedside and placed a rough hand on Elsa's forehead. Within seconds, her body went limp and her hand fell from Anna's grasp. The younger girl watched worriedly as Grandpabbie's magic seeped into her sister's body. After a point, it ceased to spread. When Anna looked up, she saw the troll frowning.

"Her magic is putting up a fight," he informed her. "It's a self-defense mechanism that is much, much stronger than when she was a child and I pulled the ice from your head. I was right to keep you awake for this part of the process, Princess Anna, for I seem to be in need of your help."

" _My_ help? What could I possibly do?" Anna asked incredulously.

"Elsa's feelings and her magic are closely intertwined," he informed her. "Have you ever calmed her down from strong emotions before? If so, do now what you did then, and I should be able to get through." She nodded in understanding and shifted closer to Elsa's still form. Anna wasn't sure her sister could hear her, but she did what had always seemed to work best. Anna pulled Elsa's limp body into her arms and held her close.

"Shh, Elsa, it's all right," she murmured. She reached a hand up and stroked her sister's face. "I'm right here, and all is well. I love you. Rest, Elsa. Rest," she whispered gently and began to hum a soft song. She could feel Elsa trustingly relax into her embrace just as she had done so many times since their reunion. She continued to hum to her sleeping sister even after Grandpabbie finished removing Elsa's memories. They were like hundreds of glowing beads on a string, dancing between his hands. As he duplicated them, Grandpabbie examined each one. When he was done, he turned to Anna.

"Everything is ready. It is time for you to sleep, Anna."

"But… what will happen to Elsa?" She asked, holding tightly to the unconscious form. "I don't want her to wake up alone!"

"Don't worry," Grandpabbie smiled. "I will wake you before I perform this magic on her. When I give these memories to you, they will appear as a series of very vivid dreams. It will feel as though a long time has passed as your mind sifts through them, though it will only take a few minutes. At the end, you will wake and feel as if these events have just transpired. Your confusion will be short-lived, and once you are settled we will tend to your sister." Anna took a moment to think about that information, but she eventually nodded.

"I'm ready," she said, though fear filled her eyes as Grandpabbie approached her head with a glowing hand. She clutched Elsa's hand tightly in the seconds before the magic rendered her unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2: Memory-Dreams

For a moment, everything was still and dark. Gradually sounds and light began to filter through the haze. It was a very old memory, Anna realized. Her vision jumped unexpectedly and it sent her head reeling. The shock of what she saw froze her mind for a moment, for in front of her stood her father. He was blurry but he looked young, younger than when she last saw him. He seemed very _very_ tall. He smiled and picked her up and she could smell his familiar cologne. Anna felt like crying, but the body she thought she controlled was laughing and happy.

She couldn't make out anything her father was saying, but suddenly they were going down the hall. Everything was out of focus as they moved and all the words were muffled. Finally they came through a doorway toward a bed. Anna couldn't visually make out the person lying there, but somehow she knew it was Mama. She felt herself be set down on the bed and powers beyond her control sent her crawling forward. She could see a bundle in a pink blanket before her. Blurry arms tilted it downward and suddenly everything came into sharp focus. She found herself staring at a tiny baby, fast asleep, bearing a startlingly red shock of hair. Strong sensations of confusion swept over her, but then a clear voice startled her from the flood.

"Elsa?" her eyes shot over to the person holding the baby. It was indeed her mother, but why had she just responded to her sister's name? Anna had no idea.

"This is Anna," the tired queen explained. "She's finally here, and you're a big sister now." More confusion spilled into Anna's mind. Whether it was from herself or from the body she seemed to inhabit, she wasn't sure.

"That means it's your job to love her, protect her, and teach her. It will be a while before she's old enough to play, but you'll need to teach her how to play too," her father spoke behind her. But Anna found herself looking down at the baby instead of at him. She saw her hand reach out and gently touch the sleeping face, and the softness of warm skin registered on her fingertips. And like a flash of light, love surged through her mind. Strong and overwhelming and so, so beautiful that Anna was lost in it. She opened her mouth to speak, to say anything at all, but no words came. She was overcome by the strength of this simple emotion and she was shocked when she felt herself, with a strange young voice, speak a single word.

"Anna."

Everything went dark. Time stopped, giving Anna's mind some time to process what she had just experienced. That baby was… her? Then the eyes she was looking through were… _Elsa's. Of course!_ She had just experienced the day of her birth through the eyes of her older sister. It had been odd, being such a helpless observer. Apart from the sadness and longing produced by seeing her parents again, none of those emotions had been hers. They were simpler, as befitting a three-year-old Elsa, yet very strong.

* * *

Before she had more time to contemplate Elsa's earliest memory of her, Anna was swung straight into another one. It was darker – nighttime – and she was in bed. There was another bed nearby, but it was unoccupied. The crib on the other side of the room, however…

A loud wail interrupted Anna's concentration on her bearings. She found herself whipped along with young Elsa as the girl stumbled her way to the crib. Standing on her tiptoes, she could see the little baby within. She was very upset. The girls were quickly joined by their mother. The queen looked exhausted as she lifted the infant and rocked her gently. She looked down at her other daughter and smiled.

"Why she cry, Mama?" the little voice asked.

"She's teething, Elsa. That means her teeth are coming in and it hurts." The baby's wails had ceased, but she was still whimpering as she chewed on a piece of her mother's nightgown.

"I help?" the toddler asked, following her mother who sat down in a rocking chair. Idunn shook her head initially, but then her brow furrowed in thought. With a free hand, she rolled up a small cloth and handed it to her oldest daughter.

"Can you make that cold, Elsa?" Anna felt Elsa nod and grip the cloth tightly in her hands. Suddenly, it felt like a cool fluid began to spread from the inside of her skull down her spine and through her arms. It was an absolutely foreign sensation to Anna and she shuddered, but she could not escape it. The hands before her glowed briefly, before handing the fabric back to her mother.

"Thank you, dear," she murmured absently as she freed her clothing from the baby's grasp. She stopped a burgeoning wail by setting the fabric roll in Anna's mouth. To their surprise, the sounds stopped. Within seconds, baby Anna was chewing curiously on this new object. The ice entwined in the fabric of the cloth soothed the raging pain in her mouth. Idunn looked on in amazement as her once-inconsolable infant relaxed and eventually dropped off to sleep.

"It work?" the eager whisper from below surprised the queen. She stood and carefully placed the sleeping baby back in the crib. Then she knelt and pulled Elsa into an embrace.

" _Thank you_ , little one. Thank you so much. It worked _wonderfully_! She feels better, and now she can sleep. I'm so proud of you, my brilliant girl! You helped so much."

"I helped?" Elsa squeaked in disbelief.

"You sure did," her mother said, lifting the three-year-old into her arms and setting her back in bed. "You helped a lot. See? These powers of yours are a wonderful gift! If Anna wakes up again, you can freeze the cloth for her if that's what she needs. But now that she's asleep, you should try to get some rest. I love you, my dear."

As that memory faded into gray, Anna's mind was still whirling in shock. The sensation of magic flowing through her body was… indescribable. It kind of tickled and itched in an exciting way, yet it was also cool and soothing to the touch. To Elsa's touch. The thought that her sister lived with that odd sensation all the time sounded overwhelming to Anna. _If it's all she's ever known, maybe it isn't that bad,_ she mused.

* * *

The darkness lifted as Anna was swept into another memory-dream. The setting was much the same as the first. The baby version of herself was still in a crib on the other side of the room, and little Elsa was once again roused by her cries. A moment of guilt surged in Anna's own mind at how often she must have disturbed her older sister. She was distracted from her own feelings by Elsa's alarm as she rushed to the side of the crib.

"Anna?" her sister's young voice called as she got up on her tiptoes to see through the bars. She came face-to-face with a red-faced redheaded baby, who barely paused in her wailing to notice her sibling.

"Hey, it's okay," Elsa tried to placate the infant. It was to no avail – baby Anna kept crying, even when Elsa froze a cloth for her and tried to get it into her mouth. Anna could feel Elsa's helplessness and growing desperation to help the little girl. The four-year-old hauled a small chair closer so that she could stand on it and see into the crib better.

"It's okay, Anna," the tiny voice called. "Don't cry!" Her words did little to soothe the baby. Anna felt Elsa become more and more distraught at her inability to help her sister. A coolness began to spread through her body again as she worried and suddenly the crying stopped. Elsa looked up in surprise to find tiny snowflakes falling on them both. A happy gurgle brought Elsa's eyes down again and she found the once-inconsolable baby grinning up in wonder at the soft, cool flakes. As Elsa relaxed in relief, the snow disappeared. Her eyes widened as Anna looked like she might cry again, and Elsa quickly brought up a hand. Snowflakes sprang up from it and rained down over the two of them again. This time, Anna felt her sister begin to smile as well. She could sense the joy in Elsa's heart as the toddler realized she could help and that someone else enjoyed her magic too. As happy blue eyes met each other, a swell of love filled the memory and it disappeared.

Several hazier memories passed by. The stories behind these actions were apparently not noteworthy, but the emotions were clear. The image of a redheaded child slowly learning to crawl toward her bathed her mind in feelings of elation and love. Singing and a chocolate-covered face as well as a lot of laughter and sparkling, joy-filled magic accompanied a summer birthday with a single candle. Building blocks made of ice were knocked aside by a chubby hand and stacked up again by nimble little fingers only to be pushed over by a cackling baby whose laughter was followed by her older sister's giggles. And through it all, the deep feelings of love never left.

* * *

Suddenly, a very lucid memory surfaced in Anna's mind. Elsa was sitting on a carpet with little Anna, who looked to be a little over a year old. They were accompanied by both of their parents, which seemed to be rare judging by how happy Elsa was and how she kept looking at the three of them with such a firm sense of rightness.

"Say 'Papa', Anna!" their father encouraged as the queen swept up their youngest daughter.

"Babblugugu," the little girl gurgled from her mother's arms.

"Pa-pa," he said again, slowly, though he was trying not to smile. Elsa giggled at the expression on his face and Anna shrieked with laughter.

"Try 'Mama'," their mother encouraged, but to no avail. But then Anna's eyes turned to her older sister who was sitting in front of their parents. She reached out with chubby little arms and fussed until the queen set her down. Little Anna quickly crawled over to her sister and sat in her lap.

"Essa!" she exclaimed, and was answered by shocked gasps from everyone present.

"Anna?" a four-year-old Elsa murmured in amazement, holding on to her sister gently.

"Essa! Essa!" she repeated in elation and clapped her tiny hands together. Love and joy crashed like a wave through Elsa's mind as she laughed and wrapped her arms around her sister. The echoes of their parents' amazement were lost to them both.

* * *

Light flooded her eyes and she realized that she was suddenly in a very clear memory that took place outside in the fall. Elsa was standing by the pond within the castle gates, watching fish nibble at the pieces of bread she was dropping into the water. A sound behind her made her whirl around. She saw her mother coming toward her followed by a significantly younger Gerda. The young girl bounded forward.

"Mama! Mama!" four-year-old Elsa shouted. A picnic blanket was spread on the grass and Elsa threw herself onto it, rolling to a stop at her mother's knees as she knelt on the fabric.

"I thought I would bring Anna outside to play," a warm voice said as another tiny person joined them on the blanket. The queen set her second child down front of her sister, who scrambled to her knees and smiled down at the new arrival. A happy grin and garbled nonsense words sent Elsa's delight spinning through Anna's mind and a giggle erupted from the little girl's throat.

"Can she play in the pond with me?" Elsa asked eagerly, but her mother shook her head with a smile.

"Not yet, dear. She's just now learning how to walk. Watch," she pulled the child up onto unsteady feet. Anna watched her young self uncoordinatedly move her legs, but when her mom let go she fell to her knees with a frustrated grunt.

"Can I make her a snowman?" Elsa asked. If she could, Anna would have gaped open-mouthed. _She liked to build snowmen for me?!_

"Sure," her mother said, completely calm. "Maybe if you hold it up, she'll walk to get it."

"All right," Elsa replied eagerly, then looked at her hands in concentration. A strange sensation swept over Anna as she watched little hands turn over each other for a moment. It felt like chilly fluid flowing from her back to her front as blue sparks coalesced over her hands in the shape of a small snowman.

"Very good, Elsa!" her mother praised. "Stand over there so she has to move to get it." The girl obediently stood at the corner of the picnic blanket while the queen helped her youngest child to her feet.

"Come on, Anna! You can do it!" Elsa urged, holding the snowman out. The older Anna could feel Elsa's excitement. Her much younger self looked through blue eyes back at her and she could see determination ignited. Fine red hair ruffled in the light breeze as the baby struggled to collect her limbs and galvanize them into motion. Elsa kept calling encouragements as Anna let go of their mom's hands. She had stood on her own before, but had not yet taken a step independently. But suddenly, with the right motivation, all of that changed. Slowly and unsteadily, the tiny child took little wobbly steps. The queen covered her mouth in amazement. Elsa got more excited and began bouncing slightly as she urged her little sister on. Soon she was within reach of Elsa's outstretched arms.

A gasp from the queen went unheard as little Anna knocked the snowman out of Elsa's hand. With one last surge Anna collapsed against her sister's body. Elsa's arms automatically went around the smaller child and held her upright. She got on her knees to look right into Anna's delighted face before shouting in excitement and sweeping the now-ambulatory princess up in a great big hug. Within seconds they were both caught up in the queen's arms. Anna babbled happily against Elsa's shoulder and the queen was laughing and Elsa was so full of joy that it touched the older Anna's heart and lingered even as the memory ended.

* * *

The next series of foggy memories were all comprised of a very common question echoed time and time again in Anna's little voice. "Wha's dat?" And each time, Elsa did her best to explain. Anna was amazed by the patience her sister had for her even at the age of five. Her younger self had just turned two and clearly wanted to know everything about everything. "Why?" was also a frequent question Elsa began to field. She always did it with a smile and an eagerness to help her little sister learn about the world. Elsa's internal thought processes were becoming clear to Anna and they were beginning to include more than raw emotions. She could hear her sister's thoughts sometimes.

 _"Mama and Papa said my job as a big sister is to love her and protect her and teach her. I hope I'm doing a good job,"_ Elsa thought. _Oh, you_ are _, Elsa!_ Anna responded in her mind, though she knew her thoughts had no effect on the old memory.

* * *

"Essa! Sky wake! Pway!" The voice came before sight in this memory, probably because this was one of those nights on which the northern lights shone too brightly for the two-year-old to sleep. Elsa groaned and a flash of irritation invaded Anna's senses, but it was soon gone at the sight of bright eager eyes right in front of her face. She felt Elsa smile and get up to sit on the floor with the grinning redhead in between their beds. The toddler was practically vibrating with excitement, and it was contagious. Anna felt the giddiness building in Elsa's mind and her heart was filled with love as her sister raised her hands and let the magic flow in beautiful swirls around the elated little Anna. Though it might have been the first time this happened, Anna had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last.

* * *

The next memory faded into existence with a flash of green-tinged sunlight. Elsa was apparently outside in the gardens. Judging by the surroundings that were slowly coming into focus, she seemed to be deep in the bushes. A rustle behind her caught Anna's attention and she felt Elsa turn. Suddenly Anna was face-to-face with herself. A three-year-old Anna grinned back at her as Elsa shushed her softly. Feelings of excitement and anticipation filled Anna's senses as Elsa crawled forward, little Anna hot on her heels. Regrouping herself, Anna paid attention to where they were going and caught sight of a large mud-colored frog. She would have shouted with laughter at the thought of her regal sister crouching in the bushes and chasing frogs, but she was not in control of her body. Elsa, however, was not laughing. She was intently focused on her quarry. She noiselessly beckoned Anna to her side and indicated for her to watch.

Anna felt the strange fluid sensation filling her bones again as Elsa readied her magic. It sparkled around her fingertips, just barely luminescent in the shade of the plants above them. She met Anna's eyes for a second with a devious grin, and then she unleashed her powers. A flash of magic blinded the sisters for a moment, but when it dissipated, they looked to find a bucket made of ice turned upside down where the frog once was. The ice wasn't like Elsa's adult creations – it was opaque and they couldn't see through it. It didn't seem to faze the girls.

"He under dere?" little Anna asked excitedly.

"Only one way to find out," Anna felt Elsa reply as they moved forward. Elsa reached out a hand to touch the cool surface.

"Get on the other side," Elsa said. "I'll lift it up and you can get him. Be careful when you grab him, though. Don't wanna hurt him."

"Okay," the tiny girl replied and shuffled over to the other side of the bucket.

"Are you ready?" Elsa asked, excitement building.

"I _born_ ready," little Anna squeaked. From Elsa's vantage point, Anna gasped. _I've been using that catchphrase since I was three?!_ Elsa just smiled and started to count.

"One… two… THREE!" and she pulled the bucket off. What happened next was a bit of a blur. The frog eluded Anna's hands with a short hop and leapt startlingly fast straight into Elsa's face. A shriek, a puff of snow, and a wet plop later, the frog was gone and Elsa was lying flat on her back listening to Anna howling with laughter. Her older counterpart looking through Elsa's eyes was in similar hysterics. Eventually, the six-year-old's laughter joined Anna's as she rolled to her side on the snow-covered leaves. The sight of little Anna, laughing so hard that she was crying, was the last thing Anna saw before the memory faded out.

* * *

As the girls aged, Elsa's memories became clearer. There were many scenes of the sisters playing catch with snowballs – an activity that rapidly turned into snowball fights. Though four-year-old Anna was becoming more coordinated, she was definitely not as fast as her seven-year-old sister. Elsa, however, was the perfect playmate for the little girl.

 _"I can't throw too hard or I'll hurt her,"_ she'd think to herself. _"Oh, she's getting frustrated."_

"I'm gonna get awayyy!" she teased and purposefully waited a bit too long in one spot. A snowball softly broke against her side and she fell dramatically to the ballroom floor.

"Aaaah! You got me!" she yelled and rolled over just in time to catch Anna as she dove on top of her.

"Got you!" the girl yelled in excitement, her eyes lit up in delight at capturing her big sister.

"You got me!" Elsa exclaimed again in feigned despair. "But I can still get you!" she countered and wiggled her fingers into Anna's ticklish sides, sending her sprawling in a fit of giggles onto the snowy ground. She picked herself up and bounced on her feet, excitement filling her bright blue eyes.

"Elsa! Wanna build a snowman?" Her sister mirrored her grin and they set to work at once. Elsa didn't use her magic for this task – they always did it by hand. At the end, they sat together in the snow and admired their creation.

"Elsa, what's his name?" Anna asked as Elsa wrapped an arm around her back.

"Hmm…" the older girl pondered for a moment. Anna put an arm around her sister's shoulders. "How about… Olaf."

At the mention of the snowman's name, the memory ended and left Anna shocked. _Olaf?! Our Olaf? He was made in the ballroom?!_

* * *

Before she could get too caught up in her amazement, Anna was swept up in another dream. Once again, both girls seemed a little bit older. They were certainly going for more dangerous hijinks. Elsa had built a massive slide of snow and Anna slid down it, launching herself into the air. Elsa was careful to watch her sister's trajectory and create cushioning piles of powder for her to crash into.

They didn't do this every night, it seemed. Many of the memories that flashed past included only Elsa falling asleep looking lovingly over at a nearby bed where her sister slept peacefully. It was the nights on which the sky shone brightly that they would play most often.

Her view shifted to what looked like a birthday party. She was looking at a great big chocolate cake, but Elsa quickly glanced to the side to see Anna all but drooling on her napkin. She was gazing in awe at the beautiful dessert before her.

"How old am I, Anna?" Elsa asked the four-year-old.

"Um…" and the little girl began to count candles. "Seven… eight! You're eight!"

"Yeah! Good job!" Elsa exclaimed, gently restraining her four-year-old sister from pouncing on the cake. Moments later, Elsa was opening a birthday present.

"Ice skates! Look, Anna! Ice skates!" and sure enough, two pairs of ice skates were nestled in the box on her lap. "There's some for you too!" Elsa beamed at her sister before rushing to hug their parents.

"Thank you, Mama! Thank you, Papa!"

That night was the first time Anna and Elsa tried to ice skate. Elsa eagerly froze the floor of the ballroom and helped Anna put on her skates. Elsa took to it naturally; the ice was her own after all. Anna had a little more difficulty, but she had a very gracious and patient teacher. Soon they were racing and sliding all over the place and laughing so loud Elsa swore she saw faces peeking in to watch them. They were always gone at a second glance, so she paid them no mind.

* * *

There was a long pause between visions, and Anna became nervous. She sensed somehow that what was coming would be bad. This time when Elsa opened her eyes, it was to a five-year-old Anna bouncing on her bed. The little girl dramatically bemoaned the fact that both she and the sky were awake and insisted that they play. Elsa was exhausted. Barely awake, she swept her sister off of the bed and told her to play by herself. This was, after all, the third night in a row. Her briefly-gained peace did not last long. A squirming body clambered back on top of her and a hand pried her eyelid up.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Anna wheedled, and Elsa couldn't help but smile. Within minutes they had scampered downstairs and filled the ballroom with magic and laughter.

"Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!" Elsa called in an artificially deep voice. Anna giggled and ran to embrace their snowman.

"I love you, Olaf!" she exclaimed, but she was looking right into Elsa's eyes as she said it. The sheer joy and love emanating from Elsa's mind almost made the older Anna dizzy. Her mind spun upon truly feeling how much Elsa loved her and realizing how happy her love for Elsa made the older girl feel. They skated around with Olaf, propelled by Elsa's magic. She could hear her younger self whooping and laughing. Elsa's laughter sounded almost foreign to her, but she couldn't deny that it was absolutely beautiful to hear.

"Catch me!" the five-year-old shouted, and Elsa obliged.

"Gotcha!" A huge pile of snow appeared beneath the little girl and she quickly stood to jump some more.

"Again!"

"Wait!" Anna could feel Elsa's tension building. The magic wasn't coming fast enough to build the mounds carefully and they were becoming taller and taller.

"Slow down!" Elsa shouted, worry beginning to fill her voice and her mind.

What happened next occurred in almost slow motion for the older Anna watching the memory. Every moment stretched out long, as if this was a scene that had been replayed over and over again, becoming more defined as it was reexamined. Elsa took a step back to steady herself against the power of her magic blasts and slipped. She had never slipped on her own ice before, but it was getting out of control and fear was setting in and so she fell. There was a brief moment of alarm as she felt weightless in the air, and then she slammed into the ice. The back of her head smacked hard on the unforgiving surface and pain shot through Elsa's skull. Immediately she shook it off.

Elsa's mind was full of panic and she threw a hand out as fast as she could in a desperate attempt to cushion her sister's landing. This was where the pace of the memory came almost to a standstill. The handful of blue magic lanced through the air and struck Anna on her right temple. It knocked her head sideways and a muffled sound of pain echoed in the memory. Then the little body fell down and slid across the snow, coming to a stop on the icy ground.

"ANNA!"

There was no more hearing for Elsa. Everything was a dull roar. Her head throbbed and her vision blurred as she scrambled to her feet and over the snowy ground toward the unmoving form of her baby sister. She pulled the little body into her arms and gasped as a lock of hair turned as white as the snow around them. She felt herself scream for their parents as their surroundings iced over. She didn't need to hear to sense her father's disapproval and tried to explain that it had only been an accident, _an accident!_ But then Mama took up her sister and Elsa could feel the waves of fear coming off of the queen. The next hour was a blur of old maps and muffled shouting and the galloping of horses. The older Anna could catch bits and pieces of Elsa's fragmented inner monologue.

 _"Anna! Anna! It's all my fault! I didn't mean to hit you! Anna, please be okay! I'd give ANYTHING for you to be okay! I… I hurt her. I HURT her! I was supposed to take care of her and now… I did this to her. It's all my fault. ALL MY FAULT! ANNA!"_ And in her panic, Elsa's powers were going haywire. She could feel the icy flow stronger than ever, but her focus was on the horse slightly ahead of the one she shared with her father. The mount in front of them carried her mother and an entirely-too-still bundle containing the sister she'd struck. For most of the ride, Elsa wasn't even able to think in complete sentences; it was all feelings. Guilt and fear from the princess bombarded Anna's mind as she watched this scene unfold through Elsa's eyes.

They dismounted in a clearing and her father was calling out for help. Suddenly the very earth began to shake and the stones came alive. Elsa huddled against her father's legs as they approached. A very ancient creature came close and Elsa heard bits and pieces of a dialogue between it and her father about her powers. She focused in on her sister when the troll touched the little girl's head. He seemed mildly relieved, and Elsa let out a shaky breath for a moment. But then he did something with magic that made every hair on her neck stand on end. He pulled a sphere of blue light from her little sister's head and in it Elsa saw the playtimes they'd had. Every memory that had ever included her magic flashed before her. And the troll was changing them. He was removing every trace of her magic. It felt _wrong_ , so wrong, but Elsa was paralyzed by fear. Only when he said that Anna would be okay was Elsa able to speak.

"But she won't remember I have powers?" Her voice was little and shaky and her heart dropped into her stomach at her father's words.

"It's for the best."

Panic swelled as the troll caught her attention and showed her visions and spoke words about beauty and danger and fear. His lights showed a silhouette being attacked and destroyed and Elsa was overwhelmed. She buried her face in her father's chest, silently begging him to make it stop. She felt more than heard his words about control and locking the gates. She was shaking like a leaf, and she didn't stop trembling and staring off into nothing the entire trip home. Her mind was awash in fear and unsettlement.

 _"Everything is changing! They did something to Anna! They said she'd be okay but then Papa said something about… about…"_ but her thought was not completed until the next morning. The staff had worked through the night, as long as Anna was unconscious, pulling the sisters' room apart. They'd taken all of Elsa's belongings and moved them into a room a little ways down the hall. All of the king's attempts at explaining fell upon shocked deaf ears. The only thing that made it through was that Elsa could not play with or be near Anna anymore, and that it was because of the magic.

The memory elucidated one last time. Elsa's room was completely set up and she was about to go through the door into the new place, when around the corner skidded Anna. The little princess looked perfectly healthy and was smiling at the sight of her sister, but Elsa could only look through tormented eyes back at her.

 _"Anna, I am so sorry."_ She thought silently as she slipped into the room and closed the door on Anna for the very first time. Elsa had seen the look of hurt, confusion, and betrayal on Anna's face. And as soon as she had shut the door behind herself, the eight-year-old seized a pillow, pressed it to her face, and screamed. It dropped from her hands frozen solid as she hunched over, tearing at her hair in anguish.

 _"Wrong, wrong, WRONG!"_ her tormented mind repeated. _"Anna! I hurt her! I'm supposed to… to love her… to protect her… to… to…"_ and the knowledge that she had failed in her duties and now could never do those things again broke Elsa's fragile mind. She dropped to her knees and soundlessly wailed. Anna as she watched had never before experienced such pain. It was the heart-wrenching agony of great loss mixed with fear and guilt and eventually Elsa's voice shuddered back into audible sound. She cried like she had never cried before. The cold of her magic clashed with the heat of her tears and ran rampant around the room, freezing all of her furnishings and growing spikes of ice everywhere.

Elsa staggered to her feet and stumbled around her unfamiliar surroundings, smashing herself into the furniture uncaringly in her grief and terror. Finally, _finally_ , her little body could take no more and with one last whimper Elsa collapsed to the ground. Her vision went black as soon as her head struck the floor and it muted all emotions to leave only one last thought.

 _"Anna…"_


	3. Chapter 3: Waking Up

Anna woke up in the troll cave breathing hard with tears streaming down her face. Grandpabbie had his hands on her shoulders, holding her still, but she wrenched free and turned to vomit violently over the side of the bed. She was crying out unintelligibly, but a spiral of cleansing magic soothed her burning throat and she blinked to regain her bearings. No longer in Elsa's room, she coughed and shakily ran a hand over her sweat-covered face as she looked around the cave.

"Welcome back," Grandpabbie offered, but his voice went unheard as Anna froze, staring at the other side of the bed.

"Elsa." Her voice was barely a breath. Then she was weakly crawling toward the unconscious woman. Her mind was still reclaiming and settling the new memories in with the old and she blacked out a couple of times on her way. Grandpabbie sent soothing, healing magic to filter through Anna's back as she moved toward her sister. She was much more stable by the time she reached out and took Elsa's hand. Anna lay sprawled across the bed, face down but breathing better. She brought Elsa's hand to her face. Pressing the back of it to her hot forehead, Anna burst into tears.

"El-sa," she gasped between sobs. _I can't believe… no… you… Elsa!... I'm so sorry! You loved me…_

"She loved me so, _so_ much," she whispered aloud.

"She still does," the troll murmured, now standing beside Elsa. "She knew that memory was in there. It was worth it to her for your memories to be complete. For you to _understand._ She knew you would see it, and she knew she would have to re-live it when I put it back."

"No…" Anna gasped, looking up at him. "You can't do that to her! It'll _kill_ her!"

"There is no other way," Grandpabbie replied with a frown. "Would you do to her what I did to you so many years ago? Rob her of memories that are rightfully hers?" Anna shook her head mutely and tried to crawl closer to Elsa. The troll sighed.

"She was right, you know. It was wrong of me to alter your memories like that without further counseling your parents and your sister. You could have been reintroduced to her magic a few days after I healed you and everything would have been fine. You would have still had gaps, but your own mind would have filled them in. You could have had a childhood with Elsa, and she with you."

"Why? Why didn't you?" Anna almost growled, clinging to Elsa's limp arm. The troll looked even sadder, if that were possible.

"Your father was a good man. He wanted to protect you and Elsa, but he let fear destroy his intentions. Instead of control through love, he taught her to conceal. To hide. She once had an excellent grasp of her magic, as you now know, but instead of asking us for advice your father kept her secluded and in gloves. We sent missives further explaining what I have now told you, but upon seeing the emotional damage wrought on you both he wanted nothing more to do with us and burned our messages unread." Anna's brow furrowed with anger, but Grandpabbie continued.

"Even upon his death, our letters would not go through. The couriers were trained by then to destroy on sight anything received from us." Anna wanted to respond with anger, but she was still too shocked by Elsa's emotionally traumatizing memory to do more than stare.

"I am sorry, Princess Anna," Grandpabbie murmured. "Your childhood was not at all as it should have been." He reached out to touch her shoulder comfortingly, but she snapped streaming eyes to him in rage and pain and he pulled back. Anna threw herself onto Elsa, sobbing into her chest.

"Elsa…" she whimpered. "I'm so sorry… I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm sorry you have to feel it all again." She turned tearful, pleading eyes to the troll. "Can you make it better for her? Easier?"

"I am sorry, Anna," he apologized, looking very old and sad. "It will still be hard. I cannot soothe her with my magic as I did for you – her powers will reject it. If it comes to it, I can use a strong pulse of magic to put her to sleep again temporarily in hopes that a few moments of rest may reduce her trauma. The most help she can receive will be from you, as you will be there to comfort her and you know what she will have just seen." Anna nodded in understanding, curling up against Elsa's side.

"I will give you some time to rest," he said. "You may go to sleep if you wish – I will not start the procedure without you." Anna simply nodded once more and buried her face in Elsa's side, holding on tight and listening to her sister's heartbeat. She couldn't fall asleep for a while, still overwhelmed by all she had experienced. The depth of Elsa's love for her was mind-blowing still. The thought of Elsa's breakdown chilled her and she shivered and moved closer to her unconscious sister. She vaguely felt a blanket be draped over her shoulders and she let awareness slip away.

* * *

While asleep, Anna's memories began to mend. The new memories organized themselves to fit near the pieces of the old and she was slowly able to make sense of things subconsciously. When Anna woke again she was still a bit confused, but it all became clear when she looked up to see Elsa still lying where she'd been and the old troll dozing in a corner. He looked up when she moved and gave her a weary smile.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"What should I do?" she whispered, suddenly afraid of the responsibility she now had for her older sister.

"Most of this will be easy. Those early memories will pass without incident. I will pause before the last one, and at that time especially I will need you to hold her. There is nothing you can do for her pain as her mind processes it, and when she wakes she will be in great distress. I am sorry, Anna. This will not be easy for either of you. The best I can do is to space it out so that she is not completely lost to the pain." Anna nodded shakily. She gently lifted her sister into her arms so that Elsa was lying across her lap. Grandpabbie used his magic to elevate pieces of the bed to support Elsa more completely. The sides rose so that Elsa could not roll off and injure herself. Grandpabbie sat on the edge of the bed with the string of memories ready and waited for Anna. When the redhead nodded, he reached out and touched Elsa's head.

Elsa's body stiffened at the entrance of the magic, but quickly relaxed as the good memories came through. Memory after memory touched her head and spread over it like water before melting in. Anna's heart ached at the sight of the little smile on Elsa's sleeping face as the lovely childhood memories returned to their places in Elsa's subconscious, for she knew what was to come. As he promised, Grandpabbie looked over at Anna when he held the last memory in his hand. Anna clutched Elsa tighter and helplessly shook her head, not wanting her sister to undergo this torture. Grandpabbie looked sadly at her, a similar reluctance in his eyes, but he pressed the last glowing orb against Elsa's forehead anyway.

This time the light moved slowly across Elsa's head. She was smiling at first, but all of a sudden she began to gasp and shake. Her body got colder and her breathing sped up.

"Elsa, it's okay, it's just a dream," Anna tried to soothe her, but it was to no avail. The memory tracked on and Elsa became more and more upset. Tears had begun to stream down the sides of her face.

"An… na…" she moaned. The troll raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn't expected her to be able to speak. Worried that her magic might kick his out before the completion of the ritual, he pressed the light faster. Elsa's shaking turned into spasms. Anna held her tightly as her body jerked. A scream tore from Elsa's throat as she thrashed about. She didn't stop to breathe for such a long time – her face turned red and then purple as she convulsed in Anna's arms. Finally the last of the light sank in and Elsa's eyes shot open. She took a strangled breath and wailed, bending double and continuing the lament from the last thing she could remember – losing her sister.

"Elsa! Elsa, it's all right!" Anna cried, but the stricken queen didn't seem to hear her or feel her touch. Her entire body was tense and blood began to leak from between her clenched teeth – she had bitten her tongue.

"Elsa!" Anna shouted louder in alarm, but all Elsa could hear was the sad young voice from her childhood, the beloved sister she could never see again. Words in her head full of self-hatred were all that registered for the young woman. She took another short gasp of air and let out another agonized scream but it choked out suddenly and her body went completely limp. Anna looked over and saw a thick line of magic stretching from the old troll's hand to her sister's head. The creature's eyes were streaming just as much as her own. Anna collapsed, sobbing, onto the bed with Elsa in her arms. She could not form any coherent words. She cradled Elsa's head in her hands and wiped away the tears from her still face and the blood running from the corner of her mouth.

When some time had passed, Grandpabbie removed his magic and Elsa went into the throes of her sorrow once again. Fortunately, her pain was not as startlingly severe as before. She was quickly losing what little physical strength she had left. Her tortured body was shaking like a leaf, and she kept crying out but she wasn't as loud. She choked on blood and shuddered, trembling. Anna held her securely and kept trying to call her back to her senses.

"Elsa, it's okay! I'm here! Elsa, I'm here!" The older woman still didn't seem to hear her, but Anna didn't give up.

"You haven't lost me! It's not your fault! Elsa, please come back!" Anna put both hands on Elsa's face, trying to catch her attention. When Elsa's tear-filled eyes focused on Anna's, the shock of recognition almost sent Elsa into another panic.

"Hold on, hold on," Anna called. "Stay with me, Elsa. It's okay now. I've got you. All of that is past us. We're here fixing my memories, and everything is fine."

"Anna?" Elsa's voice was shaky, cracked and hoarse from screaming.

"Yes, Elsa. It's okay," Anna whispered, resting her forehead against Elsa's. "We're together again. You're going to be all right." Tears began forming again in Elsa's eyes, but this time they were tears of relief. She was breathing hard still, with little whimpers here and there but Anna stretched out on her side and pressed close.

"I'm so sorry this hurt you so badly," Anna murmured, gently wiping away Elsa's tears. "Oh Elsa, please believe me, it wasn't your fault." She ignored the way Elsa's body stiffened. "It wasn't at all. Please don't feel guilty any more. I forgive you and I love you." She leaned up to softly kiss Elsa's forehead. At that, Elsa moved shaking arms to embrace the warm person beside her. Anna buried her face in Elsa's hair, floored by relief that Elsa was finally coming around. Elsa clung feebly to her sister as if Anna were a lifeline. The only thing that mattered to the young queen was that Anna was there, holding her and whispering kind, soothing things to her. Her gasping breaths eased as her mind settled her childhood memories back into their places. She gradually regained a sense of where she was and what had happened. Anna had her memories now. That realization made Elsa cringe.

"Did…" she rasped, "did it work?"

"Yes, Elsa. It did," Anna said, running a hand through Elsa's hair. She relaxed at the touch, but stiffened and spoke again.

"Then… you saw…" and shame filtered into her roughened voice.

"I did," Anna replied. "I saw the greatest, most wonderful sister I could ever imagine. I saw a little girl - _you_ \- get blamed and punished for an _accident_. I saw how afraid you were, and how much you cared about me. I saw someone you loved taken away from you, and I saw how much it hurt you. Elsa, I am _so sorry_ that happened to you. I'm sorry it hurt you so badly. And I promise I will never let anything like that happen to you ever again." Elsa whimpered, and Anna held her closer. She tucked Elsa's head under her chin.

"You loved me so, _so_ much, Elsa. Do… do you still?"

 _"Yes,_ Anna. Yes," the weak voice whispered emphatically.

"Well, good. Because I love you that much, too. The way I felt you love me is the same way I feel about you. Elsa, I love you so much. Can I… can I please just hold you?" And Elsa nodded into her shoulder, not trusting herself to speak. With a relieved sigh, Anna gently pressed Elsa's face into her neck. She all but pulled Elsa on top of herself and yanked the blanket up to cover them both. Elsa whimpered softly, but Anna soothed her with a warm hand on her back.

"Just rest now, Elsa. We'll be all right."

* * *

It wasn't long before Elsa's tremors stilled and her exhausted body relaxed against Anna. The princess closed her eyes tightly in sorrow for the damage wrought on her beloved sister. A few tears traced their way down her cheeks as she gently rubbed Elsa's back. She could still feel that even while asleep the tension in Elsa's shoulders had not lessened much. She slowly worked her fingertips into the stiff muscles to loosen them, but stopped when Elsa winced and nearly woke up. Instead, she focused on holding Elsa securely enough that she might feel safe. Anna was suddenly surprised by a weird sensation on her neck. She brought a hand to scratch at it and her fingertips came away red with blood. She gasped in panic and looked frantically for Grandpabbie. The old troll had seen it as well and his frown deepened.

"The injury in her mouth seems worse than I thought," he whispered, "but I can heal her." Anna carefully positioned Elsa's head to face him and he summoned gentle tendrils of blue magic. As soon as it touched Elsa's face, though, it sprang back as if burned and Elsa woke and cried out. She coughed, spattering blood on Anna's arm, and shuddered, her own magic an angry, defensive haze around her head.

"Hey, hey," Anna called, "it's all right," but her words once again went unheard. Elsa opened her eyes to see Grandpabbie with light in his hands and any sense she had was lost to fear. She tried to sit up and get away but her body was still too weak. She managed to press herself harder against Anna and pushed until Anna relented and moved to sit among the pillows on the bed with her back against the wall of the cave.

"He's not going to hurt us, Elsa," Anna tried to reason with her frightened sister. "He's trying to heal you." Elsa did not reply beyond panicked gasps. Anna held her around her waist and Elsa was pressed tight against the redhead in her attempts to get away. Grandpabbie looked to Anna patiently. She frowned, but she understood; if he were to approach Elsa again in this state, they would have another full-blown panic attack on their hands. Elsa didn't need that. Anna shifted so that Elsa was sitting between her legs and she let Elsa curl up against her chest, where she shivered with her eyes tightly shut.

"Hey, listen," Anna insisted, holding her sister securely. "You're going to be fine, but I need you to listen to me. Elsa? Please?" She ran her fingers through Elsa's hair and her eyes softened when the stiffness of Elsa's shoulders faltered at the touch.

"There you go. That's better. You bit your tongue really bad and our friend is going to help you. He's going to make it stop hurting, okay? I need you to hold on to me and not fight it." Elsa seemed to be listening intently to her sister, still with her eyes closed, so Grandpabbie took the opportunity to move closer.

"It's not going to hurt, I promise," Anna soothed, still stroking through Elsa's hair. She paused in her ministrations and gently pulled Elsa's chin down to open her mouth.

"I want you to think about love." Anna returned her hand to Elsa's hair. "Think about how much I love you. Remember how I said, "I love you," to Olaf back when we were kids? Just like you thought, I was actually saying it to you." Anna continued to speak as Grandpabbie readied a wisp of magic in his hands.

"I always loved you, and I still do," Anna whispered as she watched the blue light enter her sister's mouth. Elsa's brow furrowed but Anna was quick to calm her with a soft hand on her face. "It was amazing to see how much you really loved me, Elsa. I just want you to know that I love you every bit as much, and I'm looking forward to proving it to you every day for the rest of our lives." The light faded and Elsa relaxed further into Anna's arms. The pain in her mouth was gone and she was suddenly very drowsy.

"We can start with this," Anna whispered and kissed the top of Elsa's head. She rocked her sister back and forth until she was certain the traumatized queen was fast asleep. When Elsa was completely still, Anna sighed in relief.

"You must forgive me, Princess Anna," Grandpabbie began guiltily. "I healed her mouth, but I also used some magic to calm her since you had her guard down. It was all I could do without triggering her magic again."

"No, it's okay," Anna murmured wearily. "She really needed that too."

"You may both rest here as long as you wish," he informed her, magically manipulating the bed so that they were lying in the middle again. "I will hear you if you call."

"Thank you," Anna whispered. She cuddled Elsa close and let her exhaustion drag her into unconsciousness.

* * *

Elsa woke from a dreamless sleep with the salty, metallic tang of blood in her mouth. She wrinkled her nose at the taste and tried to move, only to find herself restrained. She opened her eyes to find her face pressed to the shoulder of a familiar green dress. _Anna!_ And all the recently displaced memories came flooding back into the forefront of her mind - the wonderful memories she had of her early childhood with Anna, as well as the traumatizing event that led to their isolation. She shuddered at how clear it had appeared to her – as if it had just happened. It had been hard to distinguish the past from the present, but the Anna she was lying against was certainly no longer a child. Elsa vaguely remembered waking from the dream, still caught up in the emotions she had experienced thirteen years ago, and could visualize hazy new memories involving Anna shouting and holding her, a great deal of pain, and then cool, soothing magic washing through her head. Elsa moved her newly healed tongue, probing around the drying clots of blood without pain. She tried to move again and found that Anna was holding her too tightly for her to do anything. And Elsa realized that she didn't mind. Her body felt so _heavy_ , and all of her muscles ached. Anna's protective embrace was quite comfortable, and Elsa let herself sink down again, molding against her sister's side in relaxation. The warmth was heavenly and her eyes fell shut. She sighed wearily and weakly nuzzled her head against Anna's shoulder.

Elsa blinked her eyes open when the arms holding her shifted a bit. One still held her close, but the other was gently rubbing her back. She let out what was supposed to be a contented hum but came out as a shaky groan.

"Elsa?" a quiet voice asked as the hand moved to cup her face. She glanced up to see Anna's concerned eyes looking over at her.

"Mm o-kay," Elsa struggled to speak. She coughed weakly and winced as the worn-out muscles in her body protested. When she opened her eyes again, she was alarmed by the sight of blood on Anna's arm and neck. She drew in a breath to question her sister but ended up choking and coughing instead. Anna moved quickly and carefully to pull Elsa upright. She supported Elsa against her body and pushed a handkerchief to her sister's face. Elsa coughed and spat, trying to rid herself of whatever kept her from breathing as well as the nasty taste in her mouth. She was surprised to see blood smeared on the cloth when Anna pulled it away.

"It's all right," Anna murmured. "You're not hurt anymore. Here, let's get more of this blood off of you." She put a clean corner of the fabric to her mouth to wet it and then began to scrub at the dried streaks on Elsa's face. Elsa tried to resist, but she was just too weak. Completely at her sister's mercy, Elsa lay helplessly propped up against Anna's body as the younger girl cleaned away the blood.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked when she was finished.

"I'm f-fine," Elsa stuttered.

"Mm, I don't know about that," Anna hummed behind her. "I'm glad you're awake and thinking more clearly, but you're still in rough shape, Elsa." She shifted to cradle Elsa in her arms and looked down at her compassionately.

"Everything hurts, doesn't it?" Anna guessed, and Elsa nodded silently, struggling to hold back her tears. She was indeed in pain – most of her muscles had been strained in her convulsions and now they _hurt_ – but she was also beginning to recall Anna's heartfelt proclamations of love and the ensuing emotions overwhelmed her.

"Oh, oh, don't cry," Anna pleaded. "It's okay, Elsa. You're going to be just fine. I'm here. I've got you." Anna lay down on the bed and held Elsa close, gently rubbing her aching back as the sun set behind the mountains around them. "I love you so much, Elsa."

"L-Love you t-too," a small voice whispered back. Anna felt tears sting her eyes as she grasped her sister even tighter.

"I know you do," she murmured. "I know." And she did. Anna knew exactly how much Elsa loved her. How much she'd loved her all along.


	4. Chapter 4: Going Home

Anna woke early the next morning feeling well-rested and fully recovered. Grandpabbie's healing magic probably had a lot to do with it, she realized. Elsa still lay huddled in her arms. She was in an exhausted sleep, but it didn't seem to be very restful. She trembled and occasionally whimpered, though whether she was caught in nightmares or in nightmarish memories Anna couldn't tell.

"Shh," she whispered, pressing her face against the top of Elsa's head. "It's all right." She wiped away some tears from her sister's drawn face. To her relief, Elsa settled down with a shaky sigh. She was half-awake, clinging to Anna like a frightened child – which, according to her slightly disorganized mind, she was. Since Anna's new memories were not native, she had a much easier time assimilating them than Elsa who was already so easily caught up in the pain of her past. _Of course this would be hard on you,_ Anna though dismally as she continued to comfort Elsa. _Why did this have to happen to you? I'm so sorry, Elsa._ Anna held her sister securely and stroked her hair until the young queen fully relaxed in her embrace and fell asleep again.

"Why does your magic make it so hard for us to help you feel better?" Anna wondered out loud, speaking very softly to her sleeping companion.

"Her magic developed as she did," Grandpabbie replied. The soft undergrowth had muffled his footsteps as he approached the cave. "Starting from the moment she first came here as a child, every part of her was shaped by fear. While she is learning fairly quickly to trust again, or to trust _you_ at least, her magic is not so easily persuaded." His voice lowered to keep from waking Elsa as he came to the bedside."How is she?"

"She's… I don't know," Anna whispered uneasily. "She may have been shaking all night. I woke up not long ago and finally got her to where she's not crying in her sleep, but I don't know how long she was like that. Is that part of this whole process? Is she going to feel better soon?"

"Don't worry, princess. She will be all right soon enough. It may take her several days, though. I think she would heal better in more familiar surroundings."

"You think I should take her home?" Anna clarified.

"I do," he replied. "But you must continue to be as attentive as you are here if you wish for her to recover quickly."

"Oh, of course," Anna insisted. "I don't plan on letting her go anytime soon."

"Good," Grandpabbie said with a smile. "I will have your horses brought into the valley. However, she cannot ride on her own even if she is awake. Can your mount carry the two of you?"

"Heinrik? Of course he can. She practically weighs nothing anyway," Anna gestured to the frail body at her side.

"Very well. As soon as she is ready to travel, you may go. Might I suggest not waking her unless she is already restless? She will heal best in sleep." Anna nodded in understanding as he walked away and she cuddled close to Elsa. She focused on the steady breathing pattern against her side and went exploring in her new memories for a while.

The memory of their last night together as children was still in startling clarity as Anna let her mind drift. She focused on the fun they had before everything went wrong, and she smiled. There was so much laughter and joy. All of Elsa's attention had been on making sure her little sister had fun. Of course, she was clearly enjoying their games too. Anna thought of what had happened in the accident. _I didn't listen to her. She warned me – she told me to slow down. Does that mean it's_ my _fault?_ Her face paled and she looked down in alarm at the sleeping figure beside her.

"Is it my fault?" she whispered to her sleeping sister. _If it is, then_ I _did this to her. I'm why she was locked away…_ Anna's eyes began to water, but a sleepy grumble distracted her for a moment. Elsa subconsciously moved an arm up and grasped at the material covering Anna's shoulder before releasing a contented sigh as she relaxed into a restful sleep once more.

 _She would never blame me,_ Anna realized. _She wouldn't even let me blame myself. "You were five," she'd say. "It was an accident." Or "I should have had better control – it's my fault."_ Anna's face screwed up in sorrow, and she bent her head toward Elsa's again.

"It wasn't your fault. You tried _so hard_ ," she murmured into Elsa's hair. _You fell and hit your head on the ice. It must have hurt a lot, but you were only worried for me. No wonder you couldn't aim your magic! You were probably concussed and scared out of your mind. And all those years… Oh, why didn't we ever realize it was love that you needed?_ Anna softly kissed the top of Elsa's head as tears flowed down her cheeks. She left her nose in Elsa's hair, breathing in her scent as she tried to calm down.

 _It's okay_ , she told herself. _We're okay now._

* * *

Every time Anna stilled, Elsa would begin to whimper and cry again in her sleep. Due to Anna's constant soothing and rocking, Elsa stayed in a deep sleep for half of the morning. She woke to her sister humming a lullaby and rubbing her back. As the numbness left her body, Elsa found herself captivated by the lovely sensation of being held and cared for. She felt so safe and so _loved_ that it brought tears to her eyes. Anna heard a sniffle and stopped her song.

"Elsa?" She angled her head to see her sister's face. She could tell that Elsa was awake now, for her breathing had changed and her body wasn't limp anymore. "Are you all right?"

"I'm… I'm fine," Elsa stuttered.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Anna asked compassionately as she tilted Elsa's head back to look at her and wiped the tears away.

"This… you're being so… so _nice_ to me. Why? After everything…" Anna's heart broke at the expression of honest confusion in Elsa's eyes. She shook her head and held Elsa close.

"I _love_ you, Elsa," she insisted firmly. "I want to take care of you." Elsa sniffled again from within Anna's embrace.

"As for everything that happened, it was an accident. Don't give me any excuses for it to make it your fault – I _know_ you didn't mean to hit me. Keeping us separated was a terrible mistake, but it wasn't your decision. See, Elsa? I don't blame you for a single thing. Especially since I know exactly what happened." She decided not to tell Elsa that they could have been reunited as children. She didn't think her sister could handle the emotional fallout from that information at the moment, if ever. It was hard enough to convince Elsa of her love.

"That little girl who adored you so? She's still here. Sure, she looks different now, but she loves you just as much as she used to. In fact, I'd say she loves you even more. She's so thankful that you're her sister, and there's not a thing about you that she'd change. She's especially delighted that you're letting her hold you. She absolutely loves this – I promise." Anna giggled a little bit when Elsa blushed, but then she became serious again. She took Elsa's chin in her fingers and lifted her head up so that they were forehead-to-forehead. Looking directly into her sister's eyes, Anna spoke again.

"I love you, Elsa. I really want you to believe me when I say that. I love you and I want to be at your side for the rest of my life. I will never leave you, nor will I ever let anything take me away from you again. I promise." The sincerity in Anna's eyes broke through the self-protecting barriers the queen had set up against love long ago and Elsa's face crumpled. She raised weak arms and held tightly to her beloved sister, the only person who had truly seen her and loved her anyway.

"Anna…" she whimpered, pressing her face into the princess's chest.

"It's all right," Anna murmured, tears starting in her eyes at the sight of Elsa's distress, even though the older girl seemed more relieved than upset. She comforted Elsa the best she could, even beginning to rock her from side to side again. Eventually Elsa's tears slackened and she lay still in Anna's embrace.

"I want to take you home now," Anna informed her softly. "Grandpabbie said you'd heal better at home. Do you think you could ride with me?" Elsa nodded in response.

"I want to go home," she whimpered miserably. "I don't… I don't feel good."

"How so?" Anna asked, suddenly very concerned.

"Everything hurts," Elsa grimaced. "It hurts to move… it hurts to breathe…"

"What? Why?" Anna asked in alarm, but then understanding dawned. "Ohhh. When you were getting the memories back and you… it's okay, Elsa. You couldn't help it. I felt pretty bad when I woke up, too, but Grandpabbie used his magic to help me feel better and I feel fine now. Maybe he can help you too," Anna suggested before calling out for the old troll. They soon saw him amble toward them from the valley below. Anna sat up and held Elsa upright against her body.

"Grandpabbie, can you help Elsa? She's in pain," Anna explained, worried by the way Elsa winced at the movement.

"I can try," he replied, and turned to Elsa. "If this is to work, your magic will need to let mine take over. If there is anything you can do to help that happen, please do so."

"And don't you dare go on with that 'conceal don't feel' garbage, Elsa," Anna warned. "We both know that was never the way to go about this. Think about love instead."

Elsa closed her eyes and did as Anna requested, but as soon as the magic touched her body, her powers immediately reacted and the magic bounced off.

"It's all right," Anna insisted. "Here, let's try again." She shifted Elsa in her arms so that the older girl's ear was right over Anna's heart. Elsa closed her eyes again, subconsciously snuggling closer. Anna smiled at the endearing reaction.

"Just listen to my heartbeat and remember how much I love you," she murmured as Grandpabbie readied his magic once more and sent it toward Elsa. It was to no avail and her magic once again rejected the invasion.

"What's going on?" Anna asked, perplexed. Elsa looked just as confused as her sister, but a guilty expression was beginning to creep over her face. Grandpabbie sighed in response.

"This isn't your fault, Elsa," he addressed the queen. "It seems that your magic has just had enough of my meddling. No matter your state of mind, it will refuse my aid – at least until it has a chance to cool off and let its guard down. There is nothing more you or I can do."

"That's okay," Anna replied. "You did your best. I'll just take her home now and get her better the old fashioned way. She… she will get better on her own, right? It's not a magical problem, is it?"

"No, nothing like that," he reassured Anna. "Her body will heal with time. She likely strained a lot of her muscles in the… well, in the moments after she woke up." Anna nodded soberly, though Elsa looked at her in confusion.

"Don't worry about it," Anna murmured to her. "You're okay now, and we'll be home soon. Where are our horses, Grandpabbie?"

"We brought them to the bottom of the hill. Tread carefully as you go," he warned her.

Anna tried to be as gentle as possible as she pulled Elsa to the side of the bed. She stood and lifted her sister into her arms. Grandpabbie sent some of his magic to strengthen Anna so that she was able to carry Elsa more easily. The girl carefully made her way down the hillside to where the larger of the two horses waited next to an outcropping of rock. Anna managed to walk up the incline and carefully deposited her sister sideways on the front of the saddle. She quickly mounted the horse behind Elsa. Anna hiked her skirt up so she could sit with her feet in the stirrups, and then she settled Elsa against her body.

"Are you okay?" She worriedly ran her hand over Elsa's shoulder. She got a weak groan in response.

"Elsa!" Anna clung tightly to her sister in sudden fear, but the queen reassured her quietly.

"I'm fine," Elsa whispered. "It just hurts." Elsa was cringing in pain and might have fallen from the horse if Anna hadn't been holding onto her. _Elsa, Queen of understatements_ , Anna thought to herself.

"It's all right," Anna murmured. "Here, let's shift you so you can lean forward against me. Then you won't have to sit up on your own anymore." She pulled one of Elsa's legs over the saddle so that they were facing each other, and then she drew Elsa close enough that their bodies were held flush together and the queen was practically sitting in Anna's lab. Elsa's chin rested on her sister's shoulder and she clung weakly to Anna's torso with shaking arms. Anna took the reins in one hand and held Elsa against herself with the other. She clicked her tongue to the other horse and it obediently followed as they moved away from the valley of the trolls.

Anna kept their pace at a slow walk, not wanting to jolt her sister.

"How are you feeling?" she asked after some time.

"I'm okay," Elsa replied feebly. "Just… don't let me go."

"Never, Elsa. I'll never let you go," Anna insisted emphatically. She dropped the reins to switch hands and held Elsa even more securely with her dominant arm.

"I've got you. Just try to rest, all right?" Anna suggested. "We'll be home soon." Elsa nodded against her shoulder and Anna felt her relax even more into their embrace. She smiled and turned her head to kiss Elsa's ear, which was all she could reach as they rode. Elsa squeezed her weakly in response and settled in for the ride. It wasn't long before the gentle rocking of the horse's gait and Anna's warmth pulled Elsa into a deep sleep.

* * *

Their slow pace meant that the journey took a few hours longer than before. It was just past sunset by the time their horses walked through the castle gates. Anna handed Elsa's sleeping body off to trusted servants before dismounting herself and following them inside. Everyone kept their voices low, not wanting to wake the queen, but their concern was clear. Anna tried to explain what had happened, to reassure them, but many of them were alarmed because they had never heard about troll magic before. In the end, Anna told them she would explain later and had them carry Elsa to her room. Anna then dismissed them all and tended to the unconscious woman herself.

She cleaned Elsa's face and arms more completely, washing away the remaining blood and the dust from the road. Anna did the same for herself, before getting in bed and snuggling close to Elsa. Her brow furrowed when she realized Elsa hadn't woken up since they left the trolls. She carefully examined Elsa's sleeping form – she was breathing deeply and evenly, and she seemed completely relaxed. _I'm so glad she's not restless,_ Anna thought to herself. It was hard to keep from crying when she saw Elsa suffering. _Maybe she'll sleep through the night._

"Please be okay, Elsa," she whispered. She got no reply, so she softly kissed her sister's cheek and settled in beside her. She rested her head on Elsa's shoulder, close enough to listen to her heartbeat. Though she was tired, Anna stayed awake and kept a watchful eye on her sister's sleeping form. No nightmares would threaten the queen on Anna's watch.

* * *

"-se wake up. Elsa?" the voice seemed very faint at first. "Please?" and desperate. Elsa rose groggily from the depths of her unconsciousness and blinked her heavy eyes open. She was blinded by sunlight at first, but a shadow soon settled over her face. She opened her eyes once more and found Anna leaning over her, the brightness of the evening sun behind her setting her hair alight like a halo of fire. Elsa gaped.

"You look like an angel," she rasped, before coughing roughly. Anna blushed and rolled her eyes before sitting down beside her sister.

"Yeah right. You're obviously not awake yet. Wake up, sleepy head! You… you've had me so worried." Elsa could practically feel the relief coming off of Anna in waves as the younger girl gently pulled her into a sitting position and propped her up with pillows. Before Elsa could speak, Anna was holding a cup of water to her mouth and she drank gratefully.

"You slept all day, Elsa," Anna remarked, gently wiping a droplet of water off of Elsa's chin. "Almost 24 hours. I was here with you to keep you from getting nightmares but you just stayed asleep and didn't move otherwise and I thought maybe you had gotten worse or-"

"Anna, I'm okay," Elsa interrupted softly.

"Are you sure?" Anna asked pleadingly. "Cuz I've been really _really_ worried." Elsa smiled and reached for Anna, who gladly collapsed into her embrace. The redhead was shaking a little bit, which brought a small frown to Elsa's face. A muffled sniffle had Elsa holding tightly to her sister and stroking a hand through her hair.

"It's all right," Elsa whispered. "I was just really tired, Anna. I'm feeling a lot better now."

"Good," Anna mumbled against Elsa's shoulder. And to Elsa's surprise, the princess dropped right off to sleep.

"You stayed awake the whole time?" Elsa asked quietly in wonder, gently touching the dark circles under Anna's eyes. "Oh Anna…"

Elsa carefully shifted herself and Anna sideways so that she was lying down again instead of sitting against the pillows. This left Anna comfortably curled up against Elsa's chest. Her sister's warmth and the continued ache in her body prompted Elsa to be still. Despite the rest she'd just had, Elsa let herself slip into a peaceful sleep once again.

* * *

Early the next morning, Anna woke to an odd tickling sensation on her face. She wrinkled her nose and flailed a hand half-heartedly at the disturbance. Her fingers came in contact with something firm and warm and she blinked her eyes open.

"Elsa?" she mumbled sleepily. The queen was lying right beside her and was looking apologetically into her eyes.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," Elsa murmured, but brought her hand back to Anna's face and continued to run her fingers across her sister's skin.

"What are you doin'?" Anna slurred with a smile, letting her eyes fall closed and enjoying the gentle touch.

"I'm looking at your freckles," Elsa replied. "Because I love them and I love you." Anna reached out toward Elsa. She opened her eyes just a bit and ran a finger across the bridge of Elsa's nose.

"I love your freckles, too," she mumbled. "They're not as dark as mine. Sneaky snow freckles…" Elsa giggled softly and Anna broke into a grin at the sound even as her eyes fell shut once more.

"Go back to sleep," Elsa gently urged.

"Mmm, you too," Anna grumbled. She pushed Elsa's hands away and shifted forward to bury her face in Elsa's neck. She sighed peacefully as Elsa's arms wound around her back. It wasn't long before the princess was snoring softly once again. Tears stung Elsa's eyes. Two months ago, she would have given anything in the world to have Anna fall asleep in her arms like this, knowing her, accepting her, _loving_ her, and not in any danger at all. The love and trust given to her by the sleeping girl warmed Elsa's heart. Though her body was still hurting, she felt content and whole. Now, knowing that Anna truly understood what had happened and forgave her for it anyway, Elsa was finally willing to begin to forgive herself and allow herself to feel peace and love. She had known that mining through those terrible memories would be worth it. _Anna_ was always worth it. As she drifted off to sleep, safe and warm with Anna right next to her, Elsa came to a quiet realization:

This precious person in her arms had unceremoniously torn down the walls around her heart and stolen it away, and yet Elsa found that she didn't mind at all.

* * *

 **AN: I hope you enjoyed this! I loved writing it. I took my final this morning and I'm finally done with my (hopefully) last summer semester of undergrad! So I'm updating early in celebration. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. They encourage me so incredibly much to keep writing and sharing. Until next time! -B**


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